Blogger's Block

I have it. Stay away. It might be contagious...

Blogger's Block.

The dangerous and crippling disease of having NOTHING to blog about.

Well, actually, now that I think of it, I really have had a busy week. Redecorating, karaoke, shopping, busy at work, date with Josh, beautiful weather that turns to crap the minute I walk out the door, watched movies, preparing for moms arrival, TOP CHEF finale, went out with friends....

Wow! That's actually a really great week. So why no blogs to share?

oh, I know why. No one cares.

Or at least it seems that way. I write extensive blogs about amazing adventures, or short blogs giving updates, I get personal, or leave it surface, I leave special ones up for a couple of days thinking maybe they just need a couple days to check it, or I try to bust out a few at a time giving readers something new. But still I can't help but think I am constantly putting my perspective out there and letting it float away into space, only to never hear the echo of it bouncing back to me. Maybe I am just not touching people in the way that I think I am...

Which begs the question: Why do we blog? Or more specifically why do I blog?

At first it was to occupy my time. Working a night job, waking up alone in a quiet house, constantly searching for my purpose- all motivating factors. Then, it was because all the feedback I was getting. I mean this silly forum for my thoughts was actually being read, and dare I say... LOVED. And I'm still there in that addictive first stage of discovering the blogging world. You know, checking back constantly, re-writing until its perfect, commenting like crazy, expanding your sphere. But it just feels like it plateaued (wow, that took me 6 tries to spell that one right!).

The worst part, I actually started to believe I could be a writer. I started looking into schools and classes around here to see if this blog thing could parlay into a passionate career. I actually started to dream again. But that was blocked this week.

I don't know. I guess this is all part of it. Figuring out who I am, while figuring out what an audience of readers actually wants to indulge their sweet time reading, let alone the time it takes to comment.

I know it's an egomaniac cycle. I write, people comment, people comment, I write some more. And I know we all say it's because we just want to put our most precious ideas out there because it is some kind of "release." But I'm willing to fess up. I want the validation. I want the feedback, critical or supportive. I want to be heard!

But that has always been me, maybe you all do it just to "release."

So I will continue to blog because I know you are out there. And I know you like to see what I've been up to. And I know you sometimes smile at my silly ideas. And I know you care about what adventure I have been on this week. And I know you are disappointed when I haven't posted in a few days. And I know this post makes you feel guilty. But I just have to remind you, that you have made me feel a little sad too, because instead of seeing you comment on my page too, like you do everyone else's, I have to just believe you read mine and enjoy it.

Irony is a bitch