Chicagoans warned me of the horror that is winter, and I scoffed- scoffed I tell you!
My first winter came and started out absolutely wonderful! Lightly falling powder bringing a sense of peace to the busy city and magic to the season.
But my haughty attitude was dragged through the sludge that is Chicago Winter and experiencing my fifth month of this never-ending season SUCKS!!!!!!
Here are all the reasons why:
1. Soggy UGGS: You'd think expensive Australian boots would have some sort of waterproof protection, but no! I can only get to the third block on the way to the bus before cold puddle is soaking into my colorful novelty socks.
2. Everlasting: Long after all the holiday Starbucks lattes are gone, winter endures. It still feels like winter, can't a girl get a fucking gingerbread latte anymore?
3. Stuffy buses: homelessness smells a lot worse when you can taste it too.
4. Grumpy pedestrians: I don't care how many cars are flying through the intersection, pedestrians will NOT stand still when they are freezing, and that makes for dangerous driving for bad drivers such as myself.
5. TV programming breaks: So just when you get all comfortable with the crazy labyrinth that the Lost writers are creating... they take ANOTHER break until April!!! How the hell are we going to know what that island really is if we can't even remember what Michelle Rodriguez was even doing on the island before Michael shot her? (What was that about btw?!)
6. 55 degrees is a hot day: It's really sad when we all put on our sunglasses and jump for joy when the temperature peaks at 40!
7. Special light bulbs: For the first time in my life I understand what S.A.D. is: Seasonal Affective Disorder. I think Chicagoans get so sad with the lack of sunlight in the winter, that we have to get vitamin D producing bulbs to help us get our "happiness chemicals" flowing in our brains... ridiculous
8. Slush in March: just when I bring out my bike for the spring...
9. Californians are laughing: I can almost hear the high pitched chuckle of Julianne, as if she is watching me put on my third jacket just to take out the trash while she is relaxing by a heated pool somewhere!
10. IT'S TOO FUCKING COLD!
7 comments:
yayayayaa. What up girl! Welcome to to bloggy world. "Life in the crotch"?!?!? You're hilarious. I love you.
It is cold there :)
"The crotch" is the nickname for that 3 way intersection of Damen, North and Milwaulkee where we live. it just seemed to fit! :)
Reading your blog sitting here with my shorts on in Saugus.Laughing not so much as the smile you blog brings. I can hear you as if you were here. Stay warm!
After a brief exposure to your blog, I have concluded that blogs are fun. I will construct one when I come up with interesting blog topics, and then I will transmit the location of the blog to a limited number of very exclusive people. You will receive the first transmission.
Cheers,
B-rad
Oh Shanny Shan. You are so silly. I can just see you at your computer getting pissed that your Ugg boots aren't water resistant. Miss you, you're always welcome back in Cali where I'm wearing a sundress and they offer holiday lattes all year long. Okay, maybe not the last part, but still.....come back!
Shannon. Great post. Are those your photos? They fit the list perfectly.
Pregnant and cold?
That's no way to live life. When it gets hot you will be pregnant and sweaty.
I'm so happy for you guys and hope to see you soon.
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